soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
