it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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