I murdered the dance floor call the cops
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
