yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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