I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
