think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
