Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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