Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
