I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
