i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
