Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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