you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
