doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
