we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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