It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
