if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
