Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
you never un-have a 4some
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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