The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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