About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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