I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
