She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
This is classic penis vs brain.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
