I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
