This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
