i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
