one might say we're banned from that church
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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