Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
