A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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