I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
