now i know why i became what i already was.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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