My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
