So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
