Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
