I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
