Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
