i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
