YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
