Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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