i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
