She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
