how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
