why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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