oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
