Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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