he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Success! We fucked roommates!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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