is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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