After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
