I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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