Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
