I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
