on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
