SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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